Over the past year, an incredible bit of collaboration has been brewing. On the surface, it presents as the culmination of being able to release a new EDS ring splint. This is an exciting enough announcement, but allow me to take you behind the scenes of what went into the development of this splint. It’s going to be a long one, so if you just want to jump straight to Lumecluster to order one – I’ll only be a little disappointed. You can also jump to the section where I give my experience with the Celestial Eye EDS Splint. I do, however, hope that you’ll stay and be inspired.

It was a few years ago when I first reached out to Melissa Ng, the glorious artisan behind Lumecluster. I had followed them for a little while as their fantasy armor would float across my timeline. During my short foray into TikTok, I was excited to see them pop up with a video featuring their Descendants of the Dragon Armor Rings. I loved the design and the story they wrote… but… I had a ponderance. So on a whim, I replied to the post. I figured no harm in asking; worst case scenario was that it would be lost in the comments.

My question? “Hey, does your ring armor allow your fingers to bend backwards?” As if that was a totally normal and reasonable ask. Hahaha

Thrilled to see that they replied and thankful they weren’t too discombobulated by it. We connected and started discussing how Ehlers-Danlos causes significant impacts on my hands. Videos to demonstrate significant hypermobility in my hands. How their current designs would probably not suit my particular splint requirements. Consideration of making a design specifically for EDS needs. And then?

We both kind of fell away from social media.

It was the time of the sleeping phoenix.

At least that’s what I’ve come to see it as. I was struggling with new braces, new ring splints, new surgeries, new specialists to add to my doctor team, post covid struggles, worsening of mast cell symptoms, anaphylaxis from prednisone, learning I’ve had asthma that’s been ignored since childhood, interpersonal relationship problems… I fell away from posting on Anxiety Zebra. Much of my artwork had paused and I was facing the very real possibility that the EDS could take it away for good. Work felt overwhelming and like a burden for the first time since I started there 19 years ago. I was even falling away from some of my closest connections.

We call it burnout.

It’s become such a pop-psychology term. It’s lost a lot significance when it comes up. It has become a synonym for simply needing to take a quick vacation to be able to bounce back. This was akin to scraping a recently washed and polished bowl and hoping there’s still somehow an essence of cake frosting left to sustain yourself on. To top it off, the frosting originally in the bowl wasn’t even the good kind in the first place. It was artificial banana that wasn’t blended enough so it’s all gritty and unpleasant.

Taking time to reevaluate my approach on how I needed to move forward living with the hand I’ve been dealt, I conversely tried to appear the same as the me that was younger – before I knew I had EDS. I had always lived by pushing through everything at full speed until there was a catastrophic crash… and that wasn’t serving me anymore. However, at the time that was all I knew. I didn’t know how to move forward going slow and being mindful. It was a complete change of perception that had its tendrils in everything. Even with having loved ones that were incredibly supportive, it was a difficult time where progress followed the one step forward and two steps back vibe.

What helped?

Diving into my indigenous heritage. Learning to use rotary tools again at a pace that honored the limits my body was trying to set. Taking some time to be out in nature and appreciating the bees and wasps. Learning, despite my conscious objections to it, how to embrace patience. Or as my brother says; to lower my expectations. Not because I was worthy of less, but because I deserved to not push myself into pain and to stop seeing production as a reward for it.

In that time, I was too exhausted to heavily mask. In an unexpected twist (unexpected to me and only me by the way) it was through that, I ended up making deeper connections with some of the indigenous people I know. They helped me see things from a more decolonized perspective and it started to make that transition time click together.

And then… A Spark

I saw Lumecluster post for the first time in years about coming back. At that point, it was simply the normal excitement of seeing a favorite artist coming out with a new thing. Curiosity and support. So when their first post in several years came out? Of course I signed up for their newsletter! As I read it… it hit like a gut punch. Not because it was disappointing, but because it was like expecting to be shown a glimpse into the behind the scenes. Instead? It was raw and seemingly unfiltered. All the wounds from the battle of struggling to survive were put into words, and I was realizing that they looked all too familiar. It wasn’t a blow from an enemy. It landed as a hard reminder to not retreat alone and that we can limp back from the battlefield together.

At the end of that post, was a request. “What part of yourself have you been missing lately and how can you start bringing it back? Feel free to reply to the newsletter or drop a comment below” Despite the mountain of complicated feelings that I was struggling with in my own life, I wrote a reply. I don’t recall what I responded with and I’ve a personal habit of not going back to reread things I’ve written unless it’s a technical issue. What I do remember is a metaphorical stretching out of a hand from under the cocoon of blankets I’ve wrapped up in despite feeling like all the bandages and scars should stay hidden.

It wasn’t because I felt like I needed to be brave. I wasn’t even expecting them to remember me from what felt like such a brief interaction several years prior. It was simply to reach out and say that I see you. That you’ve reminded me that I’m not alone in feeling this way; neither are you.

An acceptance that it was time to rise up from the ashes if you will.

From a Spark to a Rustling of Flame

Lumecluster responded and we reconnected on the topic of potentially designing ring splints. It quickly blossomed into more than that. I wasn’t talking to the brand, I was talking to Melissa. I brought up concerns about my limitations and was met with understanding and flexibility. They shared concerns about the process and functionality I needed, and I met them with some humor and explanations with video. An impressive amount of voice messages, emails, and short messages to further sort out details and considerations as they came up during the design process. My partner got involved and created a version of my prescription splints out of coat hanger wire. They were sent off so Melissa could glean a better understanding.

We also shared our experiences. Conversations about life as part of marginalized communities. Tattoo session sharing. Critique and appreciation of different authors and what they meant to our perception of the culture we’re surrounded by. The pressure we feel as artists. The struggle we’ve felt as people born in a feminine presenting body. How cats are little house goblins. The complicated nature of rediscovering our identity.

We’re so very different, and yet we formed a friendship that has become something treasured. Two artists coming together to create something incredible. Two people willing to see each other for who they are and embrace it. It became so much more than just a cool ring splint project, it was empathy, compassion, and healing cast in metal.

The Trials of Prototypes

I don’t want to give the wrong impression. This wasn’t just a heart-felt experience, it was a hell of a lot of work as well. Trying a new ring splint, even when it is perfectly fitted, makes my skin crawl and my bones itch. I’ve discussed before how it takes me a few months to adapt to the more official ones I have. I had to not only put the prototypes through trials, but also sort what was a legitimate design issue and what was me needing to grit my teeth and wait for this new contraption to feel less alien.

I wasn’t alone in this journey though. My partner also tested out one of the prototypes in an effort to better evaluate their comfort as someone without extreme hypermobility in their hands. Though designed with intention as a splint, the ring is going out as the crowning piece within the Mending Collection and is available to everyone. He gave invaluable input to ensure it would serve as simply fashion.

My occupational therapist, Mickey Calhoun OTR/L at Island Hand and Upper Body Rehabilitation, looked at videos, asked questions, and gave them a heavy in-person inspection. He had worked with me through the harrowing experience of having both my ulnar nerves go under the knife as well as experience with other Ehlers-Danlos patients. I trusted his feedback from a medical standpoint to look at the bigger picture.

Multiple friends were willing to try them on and give a detailed assessment of how they felt. From my tattoo artist Nikki Canady to friends that also face the challenges of Ehlers-Danlos… so many people were willing to be a part of the development process to ensure Melissa had well rounded feedback.

I put the prototypes through just about every trial I could think of. I made pine needle baskets and carved shells with a rotary tool. I sorted beads and organized paperwork. I typed articles like this and went to work. I cleaned and took apart a vacuum to fix it. I put on my body braid wrap and brushed my hair.

To make matters ever so slightly more complicated? I came to accept that it was time to work with a somatic therapist with a focus on sex therapy. She has been helping me shed some of the generational and societal expectations that have bogged me down and caused some of the suffocation of my inner self. However, imagine trying to adapt and find comfort in a brand new style of splint that’s necessary to function while you’re going into therapy that specifically brings attention to the sensations of the body. At times, it was as much fun as exfoliating a sunburn with sandpaper. And yet? It was motivated by joy and love rather than obligation.

This was a collaboration that had the potential to touch so many people which made even the challenging aspects seem significant.

Turns out, it was the final push;. No longer a limping off the battlefield licking wounds. This collaboration was a trust fall off of the cliff knowing that I’ve been ready to take flight for a while now. Everything started to fall together into this beautiful chaos of creation and rebirth. It was feeling the rage, shame, grief, pain, and insecurity right along with the euphoria. It was being ready for the sleeping embers to turn back into wings of lava to take flight on dreams thought to be forgotten – even if the approach to those dreams has to be through an adapted path.

The Celestial Eye and the Phoenix

I am beyond ecstatic to show off what has come from trusting those wings of inspiration. Melissa has created the Mending Collection. Featured in all its glory, is the Celestial Eye EDS Ring Splint accompanied by the striking collection of stacking rings. There will be several patina options and we can say with confidence that they’ve been tried and tested to be both comfortable and functional!

From the side, it resembles a Phoenix feather and from the front, an open eye. It’s a reminder to always elevate our understanding and empathy by keeping our eyes, hearts, and minds open.

This collection is for people who have been fighters all their life.

~Melissa Ng of Lumecluster

These rings aren’t just for those like me. They’re not just for people struggling with hands that might as well be put together with dry rotted rubber bands. Not just for people who feel they’re put together so badly that their Creator got carpel tunnel when they were being made and forgot some parts. They’re for anyone who needs a reminder of what their light looks like. Anyone who needs a call back to that divine part of themselves that has felt smothered, bruised, and exhausted. For all of us that have a need to learn to fight through Mending and Healing rather than sheer force.

Let’s Talk Functionality Though…

As excited as I am, I did want to give a functionality run down during my experiments with them in relation to my level of hypermobility. For reference, my hands are profoundly impacted by EDS. There’s past entries for the first time I got ring splints as well as when I got the second set to give a bit more insight if you’re wanting a deeper dive. Most of my finger joints have very little stability and holding a pen is enough to dislocate the MCP joint of my thumb. For someone that likes to do things like work with power tools? Not the best combination.

Could this design hold up to a heavy duty daily use as a splint?

With heavy duty work, some of my prescribed splints end up kind of clam shell closing due to the pressure of the joint naturally experiencing significant hyperextention. What I’ve found in the Celestial Eye design is that the nature of the multiple bands prevents the outer most bands from closing past a certain point and therefor preventing a greater level of hyperextention during power tool gripping.

While this was a point of frustration because I’m used to the ones from Silver Ring Splint Company having a greater degree of give so I can have “bad finger” positions… this isn’t actually a good thing. Extra give allows hyperextention and risks damage. I’ve accepted that the Celestial Eye is better for my mobility range. I just need to whinge about it first.

I do need to occasionally adjust them back into position if I’m doing work where they’re under a lot of pressure as they try to keep my knuckles from bending backwards. And they do slip a bit if I’m doing anything that takes a lot of opening and closing of my hand… but less so than the more official style. It’s just the nature of having a ring in the bend of your finger.

With that aspect sorted, I also had some major concerns about the fact that they were adjustable. One of the reasons I have always recommended going with the official channels and sizing was that you’d have splints perfectly suited to your ring size. Because they’re solid, I’ve also found them to not be at risk from stretching. I’ve had friends with hands less severely impacted that had luck with some other designs by Etsy artists, but my degree of wonk made them mostly useless.

How did the new Celestial Eye compare? Did they hold up?

Better than my expectations and with a surprise benefit! The standard swan neck ring splints can be adjusted within a half size by opening or closing the ring like a clam shell. I was used to this feature and utilized it often.

But having 3 points of more refined adjustment!? I can now more acutely adjust for swelling in my joints through the day. I can both bend the top band out AND tighten it! I didn’t consider what a shift in comfort this would turn out to be.

I found myself making small adjustments on the regular and wishing that I had the same ability with my other splints. Though it was easy for me to refine the fit, this may start as a slightly intimidating challenge for those without jewelry experience. We did try this out with some friends, but most of those closest to me are, shockingly, also involved in the arts. It seemed quite intuitive to all of us, but in the sake of transparency I’d not claim it would be easy for everyone.

The last consideration is the size of these rings. If you somehow managed to overlook this aspect until this point… in order to make the design fit over a functional knuckle? They had to have some height to them. Did the size of the ring make them clunky and uncomfortable? Any problems with functioning?

Shockingly? This was less of an issue than I had expected them to be. I’ve been working on a detailed cross stitch and they’ve never got in the way. (And btw, the strings never got caught in the adjustable bits either!) Occasionally, there’s a small handled mug that I give an annoyed side eye to as my fingers cause a clink. The second iteration of the Celestial Eye was a slightly lower profile and suited my hands even better!

We did find that my partner and OT did better with the higher profile. Hands are complex little things with such incredible variation from person to person. My fingers are shorter so they need less clearance space for the knuckle bend. Others may find they prefer the higher clearance. All and all, it’s a relatively minor consideration unless you’re planning on doing some heavy work while wearing them.

They do make it a bit annoying to put your hands in the pockets of clothing designed for women… but isn’t that true of unadorned hands as well? Harder to slide under the stove, fridge, or really any space the cat rushes to try and bat it under if they fall off too! I’ll take it!

In the end, I feel confident that we’ve managed to come together and make something that’s beautiful and functional. No hyperextention. Comfortable for EDS hands as well as folks wearing it on just as a fashion piece. Lack of any pinching at adjustment points. I’m not sure they could be improved unless you’ve got a magic wand stashed somewhere. I’ve loved my previous ring splints; they were a way to add some style to mobility aids. These new creations add a whole new level of fantasy flare that I thought had become out of reach because of my needs.

All We Are Is Light Made Whole

So then we come full circle. Back to the idea of the Mending Collection being more than pretty rings, and part of something bigger. A story of coming back to ourselves as we were always meant to be this whole time. I’d say like a moth coming out of a cocoon, but I feel more like I’ve come out as a wasp. Trust me, sounds bad ass, until you realize they’re all generally low key still trying to survive in a world full of things trying to eat them.

With everything going on in our lives and current events, it can be difficult to pierce the darkness. We wrap up in it and use it like a pillow fort. Hope can seem dangerous or pointless. Stepping into ourselves and the willingness to reach for our dreams can feel self-destructive. Part of this is because we know deep down that we’re not going to step out from the comfort and warmth into who we used to be and a time we felt safer. Not only do we have to emerge from where we’ve hidden, we’ve got to rebuild into something new? Sounds down right rude.

I carry two little pocket pieces from a dearly departed friend to remind me that even in the darkness there’s still light to guide us if we’re willing to look for it. It’s more than darkness before the dawn. It’s embracing all we’ve experienced and all we are, seeing the light that’s always been there. Even when we’ve thought it extinguished.

Even the stars themselves are born from the fathomless darkness. Celestial bodies burning bright to let us know we’re not alone. Matter is not created or destroyed. It just changes forms. So maybe, just maybe, that same light that gives new life to your sleeping phoenix is just left over stars stuff we’re birthed from. We may have to rebuild and rediscover and readjust and all sorts of anxiety inducing concepts that lay the groundwork for growth. But the most beautiful part of this? We get to write our own story and with a consciousness we may have been lacking before.

I hope that you’ll wander over to Lumecluster to read Melissa’s blog and the journey from their perspective before you step away. Maybe pick up a ring for yourself along the way and rekindle something you thought lost. Maybe carve out a unique way back or forward to your dreams. Maybe even a bit of both. Whatever you do? I’m glad you’re here for the ride.