I have been using my Silver Ring Splints for over 5 years now. This year, I had to add 8 more to my collection as my hands continue to degrade. I deeply appreciate their support as I have reached a point where I cannot write without them due to my easily dislocating thumb MCP joint. Holding a pen has become quite challenging. Over the past 5+ years, I have adapted to wearing them every day at work, where I often encounter people who comment, ask, or just stare awkwardly. I believed I had successfully developed confidence in using these mobility aids. I have become skilled at explaining to strangers that they are not mere jewelry, and I stand my ground when faced with inappropriate comments, always maintaining a respectful approach. However, I was invited to help moderate a wildlife identification group for the Carolina’s on Facebook…
I already admin a local wildlife group and have been a part of a global group called Antman’s Hill, so the group themselves aren’t an issue. I’ve become a big advocate for helping people appreciate insect and arachnid wildlife, so I’m quite used to confrontation. The local group, most have known me for a number of years so they’re used to me. The global group? I don’t post a lot of my own photos because they’re already insect based. This new group though? We’ve got tons of people that will speak for all sorts of other wildlife and tons of folks that will post birds, deer, coyote, otters, and the more ‘loved by most people’ kind of photos. So, to the surprise of nobody that knows me in person, I posted a photo of one of me handling one of my spider friends.
Most of the comments were a mix of exactly what I am used to. Appreciation, curiosity, shock, and a sprinkling of fear and hate that had to have active moderation. What I wasn’t expecting (and I really should have) was a lot of comments making note of my splints. For all the work that I’ve done on the subject, this actually threw me. I’ll share just a few of them. None of them were negative in any way. There were a few EDSers that called me out, which to be clear isn’t an issue it is just a note. There was someone that informed a commenter that my “jewelry” was medical.
Let me be very, very clear in saying that none of this is actually a problem. Nobody commenting was in the wrong.
I found myself in an internal conflict. Should make a point to take off my splints before taking any photos that I’m going to share? Was I subconsciously looking for attention? Should I keep my EDS out of wildlife groups?
I sat for a while with this. I didn’t want to get the perspective of others quite yet, I wanted to make sure my thoughts and stance were my own. Before I share the conclusions I came to, I want to make sure that just because this is where I came settle, it is in no way saying this is the stance I feel others need or should adopt. This is where I personally am in my life and my journey. You are not less if you do not hold the same views or perspective as me. That being said….
After long consideration, I have realized that what I was questioning, was internalized ableism. Ableism, is discrimination in favor of able-bodied people. Internalized Ableism, is where your own actions and thoughts try and put able-bodied expectations to yourself at a subconscious level. My rings aren’t jewelry. They’re mobility aids. If I needed a wheelchair, it would be like considering taking photos without it so people didn’t see it and make comments. Hide anything that brings attention to the fact I’m disabled. It made my heart hurt a bit. Realizing that I was considering making a point to hide something that is a part of who I am. My EDS isn’t something I have chosen to have. My splints aren’t something I wear for attention, they’re something I wear so I can do things that feed the light in my soul. I can still choose whether or not I have the spoons to interact with those comments in the moment, but I am not going to remove something that helps me live my life with joy for the sake of appearing more normal. So I will continue to post cool pictures I get of our tiny wildlife friends and remind myself that a goal of mine is to normalize having to use mobility aids, speak about chronic illness, and normalize being disabled in everyday life. It’s also a very deep reminder that no matter the work we do, it’s absolutely normal and okay to still discover bits of ableism hiding in our subconscious. It’s all about what we do about it when we discover it.
Again, I don’t hold expectations of anyone else to take my stance and run with it. It is absolutely valid if anyone wants to take off their splints or hide other mobility aids for whatever reasons. We are all in different points in our journeys and our paths are our own. My chosen stance is in no way a judgement on anyone who stands otherwise. Find your joy. Nourish your spirit.
